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Carolyn Sangi, NYC – Photograph

Funny story actually, I was inWal-Mart last year, and I’m looking at some-

thing, but then I hear this booming voice from behind me saying, ‘There he is!

There he is!’

And I’m looking around thinking who this person could be, and it turns out

to be one of my former students. She told me, ‘You! You saved my life,’ and she

was with her adolescent daughters. She had actually taken adolescent psy-

chology fromme. She turned to her girls and said, ‘This guy right here, and the

class I took, saved my life.’

She didn’t go much beyond that, but I assume maybe she took some of what

she learned in adolescent psychology and used to raise her daughters. But that

really touched me. Occasionally you’ll get that kind of thing, but more often

than not you’re left wondering, ‘Did I reach anybody this semester? Did I reach

anybody this year?’

You just have to take it on faith that you did, but you may never know it.

Tuscarora Review: Especially since teaching is largely a

thankless profession.

Dr. Sheldon:

Exactly. You don’t necessarily get out of it what you put into it;

it’s not transactional. You have to be content with it. In psychology, it’s what

they call ‘delayed gratification’: the ability to delay any kind of positive impact

or feedback from students anywhere from a semester, or even never. You just

have to take it on faith that you’re doing something good.

It’s like parenting. You’ll put much more in than you’ll ever know in terms of

the effect you’ve had on your children. You’ve got to be in it for the long haul. I

don’t expect pats on the back, ‘Attaboy!’ or thank you’s. That’s not why I’m in it.

You have to believe you’ve made a difference and move on to the next group of

students and try to do the same.

Tuscarora Review: At the end of the day, do you feel like you’ve

been able to accomplishwhat you set out to do?

Dr. Sheldon:

In terms of my life and my career, I think I can honestly say I’ve

lived a life that I was meant to live. Would I have liked to have fame, or fortune,

or would I have liked to have traveled and seen places I’ve never seen? Yeah, I

would have liked that, but when I look at myself, who I am, and the choices I’ve

made based on the options I had, I lived the life I was intended to live.

I’m content with that; I don’t have any regrets, or misgivings on what I did or

how I did it. It worked out the way it was supposed to based on the choices that

I made, and I think I made choices that were pretty close to who I am and what

I wanted.

When it comes time to check out, as we all do, I’ll be able to walk away from

either the job or life knowing that I gave it my best shot. Maybe in my next life

I’ll live something different, but this is it for this go around. And I’ve done okay.

I have a wonderful wife, three kids, a salary that I can live on, a job that I love,

colleagues I adore, students that are my heroes.

[Laughs] There’s no reason for me to be unhappy other than being greedy

because I wanted more, but then I’d be ashamed of myself for saying that.

Tuscarora Review: I completely forgot to ask: how long have

you been teaching here again?

Dr. Sheldon:

I figured you’d ask that, but I don’t tell people how long I’ve

been here. I give them elliptical answers like ‘a lifetime’ or ‘two lifetimes,’

because when you give them a given year, they automatically start doing the

math in their head and begin attributing either significant or insignificant

things to you.

I don’t want people to do that to me. I want people to see me and understand

me for who I am. The closest I’m going to come to an answer is that when I

came here [pointing to the pictures of FCC on the wall], campus looked like

this, and now it looks like that.

It’s been a good ride. It’s been a whole lifetime, and time well spent.