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TUSCARORA REVIEW 2016
2016 TUSCARORA REVIEW
43
I Swallowed a Shy Girl
Miranda Gardner
I swallowed a shy girl,
So stop talking about her.
She doesn’t live here anymore.
I swallowed a shy girl,
She’s inside my stomach.
Trying to feel her way out.
I swallowed a shy girl, and now
I try to leave her at home.
At breakfast.
At work.
But she follows me.
I try to fight her.
I try to
Push.
Her.
Down.
But she fights back,
Wants me all to herself,
She tries to suffocate me.
But I am too strong for her.
We call this a truce.
There’s a shy girl who lives in my stomach.
But I hate that shy girl.
So I try to poison her with alcohol.
To drown her.
But she swims.
And she always
Seems to find
Her
Way
Back.
She settles to the bottom of my stomach,
Lays there,
And makes my gut into a hammock.
I know you’re in there, I say –
But its time for you to go.
She never listens.
She smothers me –
And keeps me company right there.
She tries to pull me down with
Her warm embrace
But I rarely give in.
I swallowed a shy girl
And she dies a small bit
Every few years.
But she never does leave.
And through our wars against each other
I remain.
And she remains.
Feeding off the memory of herself.
So I never can let her go.
And its because of this
I forgive.
I forgive her for holding me back.
I forgive her for
being
my
friend.
Rena Larkin,
Kaitlyn
— Drawing