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Carolyn Sangi, NYC – Photograph
Funny story actually, I was inWal-Mart last year, and I’m looking at some-
thing, but then I hear this booming voice from behind me saying, ‘There he is!
There he is!’
And I’m looking around thinking who this person could be, and it turns out
to be one of my former students. She told me, ‘You! You saved my life,’ and she
was with her adolescent daughters. She had actually taken adolescent psy-
chology fromme. She turned to her girls and said, ‘This guy right here, and the
class I took, saved my life.’
She didn’t go much beyond that, but I assume maybe she took some of what
she learned in adolescent psychology and used to raise her daughters. But that
really touched me. Occasionally you’ll get that kind of thing, but more often
than not you’re left wondering, ‘Did I reach anybody this semester? Did I reach
anybody this year?’
You just have to take it on faith that you did, but you may never know it.
Tuscarora Review: Especially since teaching is largely a
thankless profession.
Dr. Sheldon:
Exactly. You don’t necessarily get out of it what you put into it;
it’s not transactional. You have to be content with it. In psychology, it’s what
they call ‘delayed gratification’: the ability to delay any kind of positive impact
or feedback from students anywhere from a semester, or even never. You just
have to take it on faith that you’re doing something good.
It’s like parenting. You’ll put much more in than you’ll ever know in terms of
the effect you’ve had on your children. You’ve got to be in it for the long haul. I
don’t expect pats on the back, ‘Attaboy!’ or thank you’s. That’s not why I’m in it.
You have to believe you’ve made a difference and move on to the next group of
students and try to do the same.
Tuscarora Review: At the end of the day, do you feel like you’ve
been able to accomplishwhat you set out to do?
Dr. Sheldon:
In terms of my life and my career, I think I can honestly say I’ve
lived a life that I was meant to live. Would I have liked to have fame, or fortune,
or would I have liked to have traveled and seen places I’ve never seen? Yeah, I
would have liked that, but when I look at myself, who I am, and the choices I’ve
made based on the options I had, I lived the life I was intended to live.
I’m content with that; I don’t have any regrets, or misgivings on what I did or
how I did it. It worked out the way it was supposed to based on the choices that
I made, and I think I made choices that were pretty close to who I am and what
I wanted.
When it comes time to check out, as we all do, I’ll be able to walk away from
either the job or life knowing that I gave it my best shot. Maybe in my next life
I’ll live something different, but this is it for this go around. And I’ve done okay.
I have a wonderful wife, three kids, a salary that I can live on, a job that I love,
colleagues I adore, students that are my heroes.
[Laughs] There’s no reason for me to be unhappy other than being greedy
because I wanted more, but then I’d be ashamed of myself for saying that.
Tuscarora Review: I completely forgot to ask: how long have
you been teaching here again?
Dr. Sheldon:
I figured you’d ask that, but I don’t tell people how long I’ve
been here. I give them elliptical answers like ‘a lifetime’ or ‘two lifetimes,’
because when you give them a given year, they automatically start doing the
math in their head and begin attributing either significant or insignificant
things to you.
I don’t want people to do that to me. I want people to see me and understand
me for who I am. The closest I’m going to come to an answer is that when I
came here [pointing to the pictures of FCC on the wall], campus looked like
this, and now it looks like that.
It’s been a good ride. It’s been a whole lifetime, and time well spent.